Sunshine of My Life

Hello all, it’s been sunny out here in SF which is really making life a lot better then it could be. Not to say that things are going bad, just that if I had to wake up to another month of complete grey I was certainly going to kill myself. But now its not just been sunny where I live, but downtown as well so my lunch break has been spent laying in the sun, which is much better then it sounds.

Anyways my life has been full of interesting twists and turns as always. About 3 years ago my bike was stolen, my super cool 500 dollar mountain bike. It was goddamn horrible. Now, I come back from work after a night of drinking to a message on my phone. I suspected it was a call to inform me of a noise complaint which would result in me paying a 100 dollar fine. But instead, it was my mother, who announced that my bike had been found in Santa Cruz and that I needed to pick it up with-in 2 weeks. This is obviously the powers at be drawing me back to Santa Cruz, where I was just a few days ago. You see I had planned to make this weekend nice and relaxed, just sit around, watch movies and do my reading for classes. Fate has other things in store for me.

This also happens to be the weekend that the theater in SC is having a Mystery Movie Marathon from 12am to 12pm. Now is this a sign or what. So yeah, I'm giving up a nice relaxing weekend for a crazy trip that’s going to result in me getting no sleep and doing no homework, all because of one small phone call. We will see what kind of crazy adventures await me this weekend, hopefully all movie related. So on top of all that craziness the girl at the coffee shop who I thought, thought I was a weirdo, apparently doesn't think I'm a weirdo at all. I'd give a detailed run down of the fascinating story of the hot coffee shop girl but I've gotten complaints about the length of my posts, so I'll save that for another day. Later all, time to enjoy that sweet sweet sun.

Wasting time

You ever sit down set to do something, then 4-6 hours later, get up and realize that you didn't do anything remotely connected to what you had to do. Then by that time you’re late for class/work and you don't do what you were supposed to at all. That used to be me, pretty much all the time. Now I only get like that once and awhile, and usually with stupid stuff like checking my bank account or buying food, which compared to writing essays and paying bills, is a lot better. Anyways, I'm getting less like that which I think is a thing to celebrate. But with my new found focus I also have a lot of time to do stuff.
So, I'm back on this blog.
So my roommates have been starting to bug me, but I think its mostly cuz I've been in a shitty mood this last week or so. I don't know what it is, I'm lacking something in my life. So I bought an ipod nano, that kind of helped, but now I'm just running all the time and I'm constantly tired (read previous post). It's kind of interesting what kind of effect spending so much money can have on my life. For instance, before I'd set my alarm for 9am and get up at 10:30 and barely make it to class. Now, I get up at 9 run 2.5miles and do my whole workout and barely make it to class. I just feel so guilty about spending so much money, I gotta make up for it, justify it somehow. And so far this is working, plus, I don't let myself abuse my ipod so one of the few times I get to use it is while running, so that’s even more incentive. Back to the funk I'm in. I don't know what’s the deal is, maybe this is what true alcoholics go through when they need a drink. I usually drink on thursdays but I'm not drunk now so maybe I'm just naturally down because my body is missing that regular injection of liquor, or maybe its all in my head. Maybe I'm just tired.

So, I'm off to the races with a new thought. Pretty much all girls want is attention. You give them that, and you’re good. With most you'll have to penetrate their natural self protective system (I forget what that’s actually called) but then you'll be good. But who knows, not like I'm dying for another drama filled ordeal which will result in me just being pissed off all the time anyways. But, I'll be damned if I don't still think about it all the time.

Don't worry… I'll post something interesting eventually.

NANO!

Hey all, so the world has been taking over by something that completely came out of the blue, at least to me. After that commercial aired during the OC everyone and their moms have been talking about this thing. I have had multiple people request that I buy them won, out of pure desperation. So usually I wouldn't be too impressed with something that everyone talked about every second of the day but I think I need to have one. Yes, 250 down the drain for something I don't really need and that is just going to further isolate me from the world I want to be a part of. But of course I have my justification for this act of pure indulgence, something that will make me not immediately regret this expensive purchase. Yes, I have convinced myself that if I buy an ipod nano that I will run nearly 5 miles a day. Don't ask me how I managed to get this thought in my head but that’s what it is now, and now it’s as if I can only accomplish this task with an ipod nano and any other attempt without one would be futile. So yes, tomorrow, I will probably buy one, quite crazy I must say, especially for someone who is trying to save money.

Switching up gears, Perry's rant on society made me think about something and I came to a realization that I find sort of interesting. So, let’s say you got a crazy drunk guy screaming or ranting on the street. Now, that I can handle, he is crazy, drunk, he is harmless. But, if I see a crazy drunk women screaming and ranting on the street, I get incredibly nervous, like I don't know what the hell is going to happen. It's almost as if I expect her to pull out a loaded gun or a knife, or just start attacking everyone with anything she can find. So yeah, I don't know, that’s probably just me and I don't even know how that correlates to Perry's post, but I know it does somehow. My other thought on Perry's post is this. There is a difference between being a man, or macho and being an asshole. Unfortunately most girls think (deep down), that all guys they don't know are assholes and that even their own friends are potential assholes. So being a discriminated against as a male doesn't even have to do with your own personal behavior, but just the opposite sex's inward opinion, which a lot of the time, can be pretty negative. To reiterate, I mean that all girls expect guys to be assholes, or act like assholes, underneath it all, so when they deal with us as a sex, we are already discriminated against before we even get a chance. Well, at least that’s how I feel sometimes.
That’s it for me, for now, time to further ponder about my foolish purchase of expensive yet cool gizmos...

Rant on Society, Gender and "Cool Hand Luke"

So it seems to me that the rules of laws and society in the U.S. (and for all I know global culture) that we live make it so that boys get in trouble more then girls. Why is it that when you are a little kid all the things that boys do are the bad things and the things that girls do are socially acceptable? And then when guys become teenagers they begin to fuck up even more by breaking social rules and government laws while being more passive and following rules (like many females) is re-enforced over and over again. In a gender studies book I was reading last year it said that much of the way males define their masculinity was that it was the opposite of femininity. So if girls obey the rule of law and society from when they are born how do you still be a man without disrupting some of those restrictions? I am also wondering how society became the way it is when over the evolution of the human race in most cultures men have been the dominant force, how did society become more accepting to women than men? When did aggression and non conformity give way passivity and cleanliness? This issue has been addressed in many movies and I would like to bring a few of them up. The other day I was watching "Cool Hand Luke" (I don't really want to give away the end so if you haven't seen it and don't want to know skip the next sentence) to me from the very beginning of the movie it was obvious that Paul Newman's character had to die in the end. He was a complete non conformist so something had to happen to him in the end. But why? Cool Hand Luke was made in the 1967 so being different was in but the film makers still knew that there would be consequences. It was the same in "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" even though that was made in the Seventies. These characters are looked up to by all the other characters in the stories but they cannot survive the very character traits that make them great. I am not sure if I am supposed to want to be McMurphy or Luke or if I am supposed to learn that no one can break that law without paying consequences. In "Fight Club" Edward Norton's character creates Tyler Durden to live out his non-conformist ideas. He himself cannot decide to go against society he need Tyler to lead him there. To me this seems like the current state of the American male. He cannot be aggressive and fight people or even just be a nonconformist so he bottles up a Tyler Durden inside of him and hopes that he will not come out. Because if he does, we all know what will happen.

I'M BACK TOO . . . . . YEAH!

So I just moved back down to SC again. I'm living in an apartment on campus, it's pretty sweet, hehe. But yeah so far my second day here has consisted of my doing nothing at all. The 49ers game is tomorrow, at least I knew that will be something to do. There are basically only the freshmen moved in on campus so none of my friends are here yet, lamesauce. Anyhow, I want to give a shout out to my homies back in the bay because I didn't see many of them before I left. SHOUT OUT. Ok well this has been a boring post but now that the school year has started expect exiting posts all the time. Not from me tho. I will bagger Alrik until he writes something good. Maybe it can be about how is has 5 girls on his crouch. Late